How to Tell if Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend is Faking Their Orgasm (and Why They’re Doing it)

I was once in three-year charade disguised as a relationship. Three years of pretending that my boyfriend wasn’t the redneck he most definitely was. Three years of faking the best orgasms of my life. As you can imagine, it was quite the waste of time.

Because indeed, he was a Coors Light drinking, Duck Dynasty watching, Oklahoma country boy. Not knocking the cowboy thing, ladies, but it’s not for me.

The hottest part of our relationship was the sex scenes on Game of Thrones come Sunday night. Thanks HBO, for keeping alive the little libido I had left.

About a year into faking my orgasms, I grew tired of the effort. I felt like a cheesy stereotype, and was unfairly hostile towards my partner for not realizing how unsatisfied I was. I didn’t want to fake my orgasms anymore. But it wasn’t that simple.

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A Surprisingly Pleasurable Sex Toy for Gay Men (and 7 Hot Tips For Using It)

After doing enough research in this genre, certain sexual truths start to reveal themselves. Some of them are pretty harmless and airy, like the fact that pretty much everyone you know likes porn. Or the fact that casual sex is a concept we are starting to accept instead of condemn.

But some sexual truths are straight-up problematic. And a lot of them have to do with how we define and treat gender, sex, and orientation topics.

Consider even the sex toy industry, which is about as sex-positive as it gets. Many sex toy companies stick to heteronormative speech that presumes everyone out there is having P-in-V sex. (Unless, of course, it’s specifically a queer sex toy brand.)

Even if a sex toy brand is inclusive of LGBT communities, there’s not enough acknowledgement and mention compared to the attention straight communities get. It sucks, and not in the good kind of way.

Because a lot of sex toys serve multiple purposes. While they’re generally aimed towards a specific sex or orientation, their function can be quite broad.

The magic wand is a sex toy for everybody.

The magic wand sex toy epitomizes this truth. It has long been considered a female masturbation toy. Probably 99% of the content out there about the magic wand is speaking to straight women. And like we learned on the playground, leaving people out isn’t playing nice.

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11 Super Orgasmic Sex Positions With Toys For Straight Couples

So you’re in a long-term relationship. It’s lost that heat, that passionate fire that once had you full of butterflies and perpetually DTF.

I know how it goes. You’re still wildly in love but the sex has become sort of predictable. You crave that pizzazz that once inspired spontaneous fucks on countertops or carpet, rug burns and all. Since your partner feels the same, you both decide to try a sex toy between the sheets.

A week later, a box from Lyps arrives on your front porch in stealthy, discreet packaging — gotta love it. You and your partner look at each other with that nearly forgotten look of scorching lust and head for the bedroom.

Like any hot hookup, things go from 0 to 100 in about a second. You’re unsure of whether you undressed or ripped the box open faster. Candles lit? Check. Got the lube? Check…

But uh… now what? You look back and forth between your new vibrator and your partner. The look on both of your faces says the exact same thing, what the fuck are we supposed to do with this thing?

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An Intro To Prostate Massage And Epic P-Spot Orgasms

With the rise of the pleasureful prostate massage, men of all orientations are reacting with mixed emotions. Some are curious. Some are offended. And others are totally ecstatic — as they should be.

The P-spot is the term coined for the pleasure point associated with the prostate. And a lot of men, even the super-experienced, don’t know a thing about it.

Why is that? How is it that men have a hands-free, super orgasm button but don’t know what it is, where to find it, and how to stimulate it?

Because anal sex is still taboo, and that’s part of the package when it comes to prostate massage.

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Homemade Sex Toys Can Be Deadly (Use This Instead)

What does Tickle Me Elmo, a Pringles can, a Chip Clip, and bubble wrap have in common? They’re all members of the homemade sex toys club.

Never have I ever humped a Tickle Me Elmo to get off, but evidently, a lot of us have. Turns out the vibrating stuffed animal has a bit of a wild side, and he likes to show it.

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Why Can’t I Orgasm? A Decisive Guide To Owning Your Arousal For Women

This goes out there to all the ladies who have stared up at the ceiling tiles mid-sex like they hold the magic answer to the same question: Why can’t I orgasm?

Indeed, nothing is more frustrating. In both subliminal and blatant ways, sex is all around us. Hollywood makes it look like women orgasm as often as they sneeze. Magazines give 50 tips for better orgasms when gee, thanks — I can’t have orgasms in the first place. Not having orgasms just feels like shit; like we missed the birthday party with the sweet ass piñata and Slip N’ Slide.

Perhaps even worse, our bodies feel to us like some cryptic enigma that we can’t tap into. Not fulfilling the potential of our own womanhood is estranging. But time for the good news: once you learn what’s going on with your orgasms (and you will) they become one of your go-to tools for empowerment. “How do I make myself climax” will be a ghost that never haunts you again.

Today, we’re taking the mighty orgasm off its pedestal. Orgasms are Shangri-la, it’s true. But their hype can be a big reason why we’re not having them. Take the princess tiara off the big O. Now we can get to work.

Note: This article was written for those interested in heterosexual sex.

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Ladies: 5 Creative And Extra Naughty Ways To Orgasm Hard (Show This To Your Boyfriend)

Try these hot masturbation tips for more pleasure.

One of the best orgasms I ever had was thanks to my boyfriend’s vibrating beard trimmer. Now, before you judge me—hear me out.

He was on a business trip and I was enduring a spell of lusty desperation. My vibrator circa 2002 was out of commission and I graduated from finger masturbation before I hit high school. So when I was rummaging the bathroom cabinet in search of lube and came across his trimmer, voila! Instant orgasm machine.

I lit a candle or two, plugged it in, and placed the vibrating, smooth end of the tool right on my clit. You can probably guess the rest – it involved a wicked hot orgasm and a super happy boyfriend once I told him where his beard trimmer had been.

The moral of the story is it’s not hard at all to get creative, or reach new levels of orgasm that you may have never thought possible. Try out these five extra dirty tips and transform your mediocre, vanilla orgasms into the explosive and delicious pleasure every girl deserves.

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