What Sex Toy Parties Are Really Like (And How To Host One)

There’s a typical male (and female) fantasy that comes to mind regarding pleasure parties. A room full of women and sex toys, which obviously ends in only one way. They get naked and start using the toys on each other. The sounds of orgasms and moaning shake the walls…

You get the picture. But let’s not get too carried away. This is the fantasy about sex toy parties, that they’re really lusty female orgies in disguise. The reality is that passion parties are much more serious — seriously fun and educational.

Guys get all the credit. Men are reputable for constantly talking about sex, but women are talking about it too! Any good girl’s night involves a lengthy discussion about recent rendezvous and sex woes.

Which is why sex toy parties are such a hit with a growing amount of women. Some of you may be saying, “well, my Mary Kay and Tupperware parties are just as fun,” but I challenge you on that.

Pleasure parties are hands down, the new way to deepen and celebrate your sexuality in the company of other badass women. Guys — you can get in on this, too. Sex toy parties are for one and all.

If you get an invite to a sex toy party, you best RSVP yes. Or screw the invite and throw your own.

What Is A Sex Toy Party?

Also coined a pleasure or passion party, these events are about one thing: enhancing your pleasure.

Yes, you’ll be surrounded by dildos and kinky apparel. You’ll hold enough vibrators to get desensitized to the whole shindig. But you’ll also be surprised with how much you learn about your own body.

Pleasure parties are hands down, the new way to deepen and celebrate your sexuality in the company of other badass women.

A sex toy party is typically thrown by one person, who invites all her (or his) friends. She hires a sex toy representative as a hostess, typically someone who works for a specific brand or store.

The point of the party is to learn more about sex toys than you thought there was to know. You’ll get a firsthand look and feel of different types of toys. The hostess will teach you what they’re good for and how to use them. At the very end, you’ll get a chance to order toys straight away with the hostess.

See? It’s like a naughty Mary Kay makeup party. Only this time you might leave with a lipstick that vibrates.

What To Expect At A Passion Party

Do yourself a favor and ditch any expectations you have about a sex toy party, if you’ve never been to one. It’s a pretty novel experience for anyone, so it’s best to go in with clean slate.

I already mentioned this, but I’ll reiterate: in 99% of the cases, you won’t use the sex toys on yourself or each other. Sex toys parties are extremely professional and respect personal boundaries. So if you’re looking for an orgy, this isn’t the place.

What you can expect is a broad variety of adult toys and an educational presentation about each of them. It depends on the hostess, but you’ll have anything from dildos to lingerie to top-notch vibrators to BDSM toys.

As far as the crowd goes, sex toys parties are typically one gendered. They’re popular for women, but men are also interested (duh). Sometimes the parties will be co-ed, in which case you’ll know far ahead of time.

Since you might be wondering — no, these parties really aren’t awkward. The hostess will go out of their way to create a positive and comfortable atmosphere. You know, icebreaker kind of stuff that generally gets a lot more fun when it’s X-rated.

“Hi, I’m Kinky Katie, and I really love it when my partner calls me a dirty whore.” Don’t worry, no one’s going to tell on you. What happens in the sex toy party, stays at the party. Privacy is a 100% given at any passion party, I promise you that.

Every party is a bit different, of course. But two things are completely inevitable: learning and empowerment. When you get to discuss sex in a positive, education-based community, beautiful things happen.

What happens in the sex toy party, stays at the party.

And, since it is a party after all, you get to leave with a goodybag of sorts: vibrators, handcuffs, and what-have-you sent right to your doorstep.

So You Want To Throw A Sex Toy Party

It sounds fun, right? If you’re interested in sex toys and have a group of open minded friends, maybe you should be the trailblazer and throw the party yourself. Trust me, you’ll be the cool friend for doing it. And you’ll probably get an awesome discount for your own purchases.

  • Find a sex toy brand that you love. There are a lot out there, and everyone focuses on something a little bit different. You know your friends best. If you all dabble in a little edginess from time to time, maybe you want to find a brand that focuses on BDSM toys. If you’re still novice with the novelty toys, pick a brand that’s a little more softcore.
  • Hire a consultant. Most brands or toy stores will have some kind of consultant program that can help you throw a passion party. When you hire a consultant, make sure you ask for customer reviews and a little background on your potential hostess. Make sure that they are educated and sex savvy.
  • Invite your friends. When making the guest list, keep your friends’ personalities in mind. You never know who’s going to be the closet freak, but friends who are proudly reserved may not be ideal. Invite friends that are down to indulge their lusty side, without blabbing to the whole city what you’re up to. Don’t forget to make up some super seXXXy invitations.
  • Set the mood. This part is equally fun and challenging. The atmosphere of the party should be laid back and comfortable, but sort of aphrodisiacal. You can go the bachelorette party route and deck your house in penis paraphernalia. Or keep it sexy with dark tones and candles. Have fun with the party snacks (boob cake anyone?) and don’t be stingy on the Cabernet.
  • Ensure privacy. Check it out: If you’re throwing the sex toy party while your kids are upstairs sleeping, your party will be a bust. The setting for a passion party needs to be thoroughly private. No one else should be in the space — no roommates and no spouses, unless they’re on the guest list.
  • Create a private consulting room. After the hostess is done with her speal about the sex toys she brought, guests will have the chance to order their own. But typically they’ll have a lot of questions for the hostess before they commit to buying. For this, create a closed “consulting room” where guests can ask their questions privately. It can be a bedroom or a quiet, separated space away from the party.

Throw A Sex Toy Party For A Special Occasion

If you want to throw a pleasure party on Wednesday just for the sake of getting through the week — by all means, be my guest. Happy Hump Day.

But it’s especially fun to throw a sex toy party for a special occasion. You can theme the party accordingly, and your guests might be more inclined to go all out!

it’s especially fun to throw a sex toy party for a special occasion.

Think of all the opportunities you have to throw your party:

  • Girls Night
  • Bachelorette/Bachelor Party
  • Birthday Party
  • New Year’s Eve
  • Wine Night
  • Christmas
  • Engagement Party (for couples)
  • 50 Shades of Grey
  • Halloween

Naughty costumes anybody?

What About Co-ed Sex Toy Parties?

Most of the time, sex toy parties are thrown by women for women. But that’s a trend subject to change real soon.

With the rise of men’s pleasure toys, the world is seeing that men want in on the sex toy world too. There’s no reason why men wouldn’t equally enjoy a sex toy party, so think about making your guest list co-ed.

It’s actually nice to have a little male energy at a sex toy party. Don’t worry, they won’t be giggling every time the hostess says “vagina” (hopefully). Instead, they’re more likely to ask thoughtful questions and cherish the sex ed lesson.

If you invite men and women to the party, make sure the invite communicates that it’s co-ed. Avoid odd-one-out scenarios, like five couples and one single dude.

Put a little extra time into making the environment comfy. Emphasize the icebreakers and conversation so that people are open to revealing their sexual side. This way the walls are down by the time sex toys enter the stage.

The benefit of a co-ed pleasure party is that you get male and female perspectives on sex and pleasure. If you create the right atmosphere, your party can become a pretty empowering, sex-positive experience that everyone will always remember.

Satisfy Your Sex Toy Party Curiosity

There is a misconception that passion parties are for the uber sexual individuals who have already dabbled with adult toys. That’s not the case.

Sex toy parties are actually ideal for those who are remotely inexperienced with sex toys, but feel curious. You’ll get a chance to learn about different types of toys all at once, which is the kind of opportunity you won’t have at a store or shopping online.

These parties are about more than just the toys. Pleasure parties teach you how to find pleasure in your own body and with a partner. They steer you towards a healthy path of sexuality with the capability to empower your whole life — inside and outside the bedroom.

You know you’re at least a little bit curious… Throw the party. Your friends will thank you.

Have you ever thrown or attended a sex toy party? Let us know what it was like in the comment section below!

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